Precision Blogworks
Monday, October 31, 2005
  The Rathermachine Drops In

One of my bosses was away today and I got to use his office while he was gone, which happens to be right next to Dan Rather's. Holy Shit! So the day was pretty much spent on tenterhooks, gleaning any kind of journalistic wisdom I could from eaves-snooping on The Man That Is Dan.

The experience was made twice or even thrice as interesting by the fact that today is Mr. Dan's birthday. Seriously, how often do you get a break like that? I could not make this shit up if I tried.

The high point of the day was definitely when Dan introduced himself over the phone as "the Rathermachine." And when Chris Martin called. I'm pretty sure it was another Chris Martin, not the world's sexiest vegetarian and castrato-singer of the band Assplay. Man, I wish I could have heard the other side of that phone call. Or actually not, if it really was THAT Chris Martin.

Charlie Rose called, but Dan told his secretary not to take the call. That's what we call a Dan Diss!

Dan doesn't like Kit Kats, according to his secretary. Although she also said that she wanted to eat them, so I think she might have been joking.

More hot halloween journalist gossip forthcoming...

listening to: all my Biggie, on random.
 
  I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea
Man, this blog stuff is exciting, but I think I'm going to bed now. Just to enthused to stay awake a moment longer. I wonder what exciting developments will happen in the blogosphere while I'm in my little death? Every night has the tension of Christmas Eve when you have a blog!

listening to: Beatles - Savoy Truffle
 
 
Those of you who aren't interning at CBS News might have missed the all-important fact that the president of CBS News got canned last week. I of course, do not have the luxury of being so innocent, as the blushing flower. Anyway, the new president of CBS News, is Sean McManus --who also heads up CBS sports. I am of course, all a-twitter about what my new boss will be like. Via the Sludge Report (R) here's some not very encouraging news.

And for those of you who have no patience for fucking links, here's the run-down:

The situation: McManus, the new president, is in his first editorial meeting with the executive producers, is laying out the coming weeks news. Its been a big week Harriet Miers went down in flames. So did Cheney's top aid. And of course, you have hurricane Wilma...

"...they said, 'Sean, what are your thoughts?"' recalled McManus, who will remain as president of CBS Sports. "I just said, 'You have to move the White Sox to the top of the show, which is more important than all the Harriet Miers stuff.'"

Yeah dude. Fuck all that politics bullshit. Buch a' poncy layabouts anyway. Ain't teevee great?

UPDATE:

Huh. My bad. Sludge got me again. But since his whole site is a joke anyway, I don't feel so bad.
 
  Official De-Virginification Post
Listening To: Talib Kweli - Get By

ye-haw

Here's a dispatch I've been working on, but never got around to sending:

GET READY FOR ANOTHER TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS WRITING ZONE (TAWZ)!!!???!!!

‘cause it’s coming. Like a freight train, babe.

Two life milestones and a sort of trivial thing.

1st order of business: Trivial thing.

Although I’m now 21 and my ID is valid, people think I’m trying to pass a fake. Because my ID is from Alaska. Nobody in the real world is from Alaska. The state only exists as an abstraction on fake ID’s.

Like today, I’m buying a 40 oz. and the dude behind the bodega counter takes my license, studies it for like three minutes, turns it over and looks at the other side. And then quizzes me on my address. PO Box 1971 muthafucka! And I’ve got major stubble, it’s not because I look really young, it’s this guy can’t conceive that an actual real Alaskan who isn’t Eskimo is buying beer from him. And then he sold me the beer like “I know its a fake, but I’ll let you slide this one time kid.”

3rd order of business: First Life Milestone.

I’m sorry guys/gals, I got a cell phone. It ain’t so bad. I didn’t realize how hard it was to get a cell phone. Like trying to adopt a damn baby. So many forms. Other than college, I think that was the first time anyone checked my credit rating. I failed. The salesman said, “Well, we are going to let you buy a cell phone.” Big fucking privilege. “But you have to give a deposit.” Oh yes massa, anything you say, massa, please am I worthy to have a cell phone? Anyway, I pretty much had to for work. Nobody takes you seriously if you don’t have a cell phone. I try to call up, say, the Department of Homeland Security

2nd order of business: Second Milestone

I have achieved a major life milestone.
Not turning 21, jackass. Bigger.

I woke up on a New York sidewalk.
No idea how I got there. Well. I knew the last thing I remembered was going out to a bar with the crew. I feel like I need to get a tattoo now or something. Yeah, I spent a night in jail once before, but only now am I a man. I got really lucky. Wasn’t missing my shoes or anything. Fuck, I even had all my money still in my pocket. Incredible.

END DISPATCH

That's it. Maybe I was right not to send it. Oh well, now its beyond my control, polluting the cyberzone. Will continue my profundities at a later date.
 
Sunday, October 30, 2005
  Hot Robotic Spluge-Fest
Listening to: The Clash - Guns of Brixton

Let's all move to korea! This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Well, I guess we still have to wait 'till 2020. And move to Korea.

But anyway, the robots are on the way!

"The wheeled robots will offer such various applications as cleaning rooms, health-care programs, Internet connections, home monitoring or reading books while kids are sleeping.

The always-on mechanical servants, some of which have the ability to re-charge electricity automatically, can also order Chinese food and pizza by connecting to the local information network.

The robots will be operated under the mobile Internet connection. Subscribers of the fixed-line high-speed Internet services can sign up for the wireless Web offerings for 10,000 won a month after installing an access point, which will cost 10,000 won.

Chin said the price of network robots would further go down, as companies crank out robots en masse in the not-so-distant future, even below the $1,000 price tag.

``On the back of the network robots, we are jockeying to become one of global top three robot producers by 2010. In 2020, every Korean household will have a robot,’’ Chin said."

Tip o' the mouse to We-make-money-not-art[http://www.we-make-money-not-art.com/archives/007340.php]
 
  Pulltab Lady and Gettin' Crazy
listening to: Randy Newman - A wedding in Cherokee Country

Hmmm, its been half an hour since I got this blog and already the honeymoon glow is wearing off. I'm not an internet superstar yet or anything.

Will keep you appraised of the situation as it develops.
 
  Oooh Ahhhh: that's pretty
Oh, I feel like such a webslut! Got my flickr account to go with my blogger account to go with my del.icio.us account to go with my hotmail account. Collect all four colors!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shpilkis/

check it izout
 
  Alex in the Ruins

Alex in the Ruins, originally uploaded by shpilkis.

Ahoy. This be a pic of Alex, sitting in the abandoned barn on the way to Tivoli. He's just enjoying the mood.

 
All things erudite and worthwhile. From both the coasts.

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Location: Bard College :: Sitka, New York :: Alaska, United States
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