Precision Blogworks

A possible clip for the movie

2006-10-17T03:58:00.000-04:00

http://www.archive.org/movies/thumbnails.php?identifier=StopDriv1959

Surrealist Training Circus Clipage

2006-07-06T11:05:00.000-04:00

man Man

2006-05-21T16:42:00.000-04:00

Janus

2006-05-13T19:21:00.000-04:00

Beach Party Invasion

2006-05-13T00:25:00.000-04:00

How 'bout now?

2006-05-04T16:06:00.000-04:00

but does it work?

2006-05-04T14:45:00.000-04:00

perhaps

Man Man

2006-04-18T16:53:00.000-04:00

This is from a while ago. January, I think. Man Man played at Bard. Here is some shitty video I shot on my digital camera.

scary hungry walking catfish

2006-04-14T09:30:00.000-04:00

Scary Walking Eating Catfish

2006-04-13T15:35:00.000-04:00

Almighty Soldiers

2006-04-06T01:09:00.000-04:00

While searching the Internet Archive for "Slocum," I found a crazy newsreel apparently made by the gender warriors at Fort Slocum. The music was way too close to something Howey would play, so I switched the soundtrack with a track from the Kleptones. The Kleptones made their track by remixing a Flaming Lips song. So I could have called this "Flaming Soldiers", but that would have been in poor taste. I'm going to turn this in for class, after all.

By the way, another thing I found was an MP3 of a synthesized voice reading "Sailing Alone." Needless to say, it is awful and blasphemes.

Police State

2006-03-26T17:33:00.000-05:00

And here is the footage from later that night. Pretty hilarious.

Stinking Lizzy show.

2006-03-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

Here's a clip from a show last night. Stinking Lizaveta. Fucking Rock. So fucking rock that driving home from the show we got pulled over and molested by a cop. More proof that rock music is decaying the fabric of our society.

Zenball

2006-03-24T17:01:00.000-05:00

Class editing assignment. Buddhist meditation on the nature of existence. W/ cavemen and suicide. Text from Shunryu Suzuki's "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind"

Chickens

2006-03-24T16:50:00.000-05:00

Psychedelic, trancendental, silent opera. Starring the letter "H" as the messiah in a dystopic chicken universe. All footage from PETA videos and FCP text generation.

W Side Highway

2006-03-15T15:10:00.000-05:00

Here is some more stuff of a slapped-together nature. Soundtrack is Miles Davis mashed with flamenco. I shot all the footage in Manhattan.

Moptop Monroe

2006-02-22T16:42:00.000-05:00

And another little thing. This is from last year.

Editing Excercize

2006-02-20T15:12:00.000-05:00

Just a little thing I did.

Hoo, boy-howdy

2006-01-23T02:14:00.000-05:00

First night back at Bard. Alex’s rat, Nicodemus, died. Alex left him to somebody to take care of during break, but when break ended, the rat had run out of water and died. Most damn pitiful thing ever. Lets just hope Nico is in a better place, running on the heavenly wheel.

Break was fun, though I failed to climb a mountain. Got a little way up and realized that I had forgotten how fucking tall mountains were. My big regret and moment of shame. But for the rest of break I hardly got out of bed, so it was pretty good.

lovely.

Listening to: Silence is the Question – The Bad Plus.

Picket Lines and Picket Sign. Don't Punsh Me...

2005-12-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

Oh man. Waiting for news of the MTA strike. They were supposed to reach a deal by midnight. Which was about seven minutes ago. Gotham is about to shit itself.

This ain't no Disco

2005-12-16T00:02:00.000-05:00

You do that voodoo
that you do
so wellllllll

Been bored with bloggin’ And when the bloggin’ gets boring, man, its bad. Big bad.

And tonight is my second-to-last night in the ceeeety. Of course, if the MTA workers (That’s Metropolitan Transit Authority –Subway and Bus workers—for you not fluent in Manhattanese) don’t get their shit together in the next ten minutes, then I might be walking home to Alaska. (For those lucky enough not to be totally absorbed in the happenings on this little Island-at-the-center-of-the-Universe, the MTA workers are threatening to strike. Manhattan is in a horrible tizzy. All quite important).

There once was a union maid
who never was afraid.

Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?

Anyway, perfect time for a wrap-up post. Tie this whole semester together an’ shit.
Unfortunately, this semester is quite resistant to any sort of tying up. Won’t be tied up, or down, or any which ways. Its slathered itself in Vaseline and is running around the apartment with a pair of pruning shears. But I’ll wrestle it to the floor yet.

That's My Baby

2005-11-20T23:41:00.000-05:00

Instant coffee and the occasional ciggarette. Simply: the way to go.

The Enemy Is About

2005-11-18T01:39:00.000-05:00

Maintain Radio Silence

Fare Thee Well, Marlon Brando, Fare Thee Well

2005-11-15T19:06:00.000-05:00

Haymaker

You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy.

You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful, irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way.

Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably open another bottle and say there’s no contest.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.

Lucky Post 13

2005-11-14T22:30:00.000-05:00

This is a thing that happened to me about a week ago. I’ve been mulling it over for a while and trying to wrap my mind around it. But it doesn’t need any mulling over.

In New York, panhandlers are always coming up to you. Every walk to the subway, chances are someone will ask you for money. You become conditioned to ignoring it. Perfect the five-yard stare and just walk on by. New Yorkers become connoisseurs of beggars, used to every come-on, all the scams. One game to play at the bar is comparing the most miserable sob stories you’ve heard.

I’m smoking a cig, and I can tell that this guy coming up to me is going to ask me for money. I can tell by the look in his eye –he’s kind of sizing me up, but also got his best smile going. He’s black and dressed pretty shabby. Starts off with the soft sell.

“Hey man, got another cigarette?”

Of course I do. Hand it to him. He lights it. Then he continues with the sell.

“Man, I can tell you raised good.”

Yeah, he’s pro. Knows the game.

“Yeah, I can tell you’re kind. Not a prick like those other guys who just ignore a black man asking them for shit.”

It kinda goes on like this. I make brief replies. “Yeah. Huh. Aw.” After all, he’s not really looking for conversation.

He moves into phase two, the sob story.

“I just got out of prison. I was not a good person. I mugged people, beat them up. But I got stabbed in prison. Now, I’m trying to turn my life around.”

Here, he takes out his prison ID and shows it to me.

“But shit. The shelter I’m staying at costs $30 a night. And the white bitch who runs it closes the doors at 10:00. So I got to catch a subway up there right now. Man, I’ve got a buck fifty.”
“I ain’t asking for thirty bucks. Whatever you got is good. Just like, ten bucks.”

Holy shit, this guy is balsy.

I ended up giving him a buck, which I’m sure is a lot more than he usually gets, but he acted offended as he took it.

Anyway, classic technique, and it worked perfectly on me, the liberal sucker that he knew I was from the beginning.

Listening to: The Pogues -- Sally MacLennane

Flat Foot Floogie

2005-11-10T01:30:00.000-05:00

This new Facebook photo feature is really going to eat my brain. I just don't see how American colleges are going to continue to function, with everybody spending all their time looking at everyone else's drunken revelery. This truly is what the internet is for. It just can't get any better. We have reached the pinnacle of civilization. Or its downfall. Whatevs.

The coolest guy on my block is this guy, I'd say about 55 years old. He wears a bomber jacket, captain's hat and loose pants tucked into his boots. And he always carries around a boombox blasting classical music. I'll try to get a picture of him one of these days.

That is all.

Listening to: David Bowie -- New Killer Star

Mellow Out, Son

2005-11-09T01:41:00.000-05:00

Enough of 60 Minutes gossip. Believe me, I could go on posting about News of the Dan forever. Lord knows there is enough material there. But I’ve got my sights set on higher horizons. ‘Cause what you really want to know is: what’s New York all about? That’s the burning Q.

Essentially, it’s really fun. Though I don’t have enough time to make it as much fun as it should be. Or enough money. New York takes money to do right. To do anything, really.

But as with all else in the crazed whirligig of existence –the best things in New York are free. The best thing being that, every time I set foot outside the apartment, I am guaranteed of seeing the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Every fucking time. I fall in love each time I walk to work, only to have that girl replaced in my heart by a new beauty on my way back home. A wise man once said, “The thing I love about New York is that I’m constantly having to choose between looking at the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, or the craziest guy I’ve ever seen. ‘Shit! That lady is fiiiine! But that dude is sticking a whole Tuna up his ass! And setting it on fire with a blowtorch! Who do I look at? ”

Listening to: Annie Ross -- Twisted

Pissing Proper

2005-11-01T21:37:00.000-05:00

Huh. Apparently I wasn't the only one blabbing about 60 Minutes yesterday. There is a piecegoing around about Dapper Dan Rather and Mischevous Mike Wallace getting into an altercation midst their defecation. Guess I got scooped like dog doo. Two people have asked me if I saw the fight. I didn't, by the way. I'm weirded something that happened in a room I regularly expose my penis in has become watercooler chatter all over the nation. And I'm strangely tingled at the same time. I wonder who told the guy at Radar about it? Was it Terry? Or Tad?

But really, I think its pretty rotten. It was the Rathermachine's birthday, for fucking sake! "Happy Birthday! Complete strangers are reading that you got insulted at the shitter today!" Really, Dan the Man deserves better than that.

Kenneth, What is the Frequency?

2005-11-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

More Musings on Dangerous Dan:

I know what you are thinking: Its the Dan Man's 73rd birthday, and he spends it at the office? Yeah, the same thought has been perplexing my grey matter as well. What can I say, except that The Rather is a brooding pool of existential mystery? And a workaholic. The man is supposedly retired, but he still shows up at the office in suspenders and suit, ready to dash on the air and report the news, dammit! There wasn't any office party for him, either. At least, not one that I was invited to.

But really, who am I to quibble with how Rathersourus Rex chooses to commemorate his latest trip around the sun? After all, I am currently muddling through the most boring Halloween I have ever endured. No candy, no shit. I didn't even make it to the Greenwich Halloween Parade. Whatevs, I'm just doing my part for the Bolivarian Revolution.

Anyway, I went outside for a ciggy and I realized something: New York is not noticeably crazier on Halloween. Yeah, there are some people walking down the street dressed as sexy nurses or Hell's Angels, but they just blend right in with the everyday freaks.

And that's the news.

listening to: Willie Nelson - Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

The Rathermachine Drops In

2005-10-31T20:05:00.000-05:00

One of my bosses was away today and I got to use his office while he was gone, which happens to be right next to Dan Rather's. Holy Shit! So the day was pretty much spent on tenterhooks, gleaning any kind of journalistic wisdom I could from eaves-snooping on The Man That Is Dan.

The experience was made twice or even thrice as interesting by the fact that today is Mr. Dan's birthday. Seriously, how often do you get a break like that? I could not make this shit up if I tried.

The high point of the day was definitely when Dan introduced himself over the phone as "the Rathermachine." And when Chris Martin called. I'm pretty sure it was another Chris Martin, not the world's sexiest vegetarian and castrato-singer of the band Assplay. Man, I wish I could have heard the other side of that phone call. Or actually not, if it really was THAT Chris Martin.

Charlie Rose called, but Dan told his secretary not to take the call. That's what we call a Dan Diss!

Dan doesn't like Kit Kats, according to his secretary. Although she also said that she wanted to eat them, so I think she might have been joking.

More hot halloween journalist gossip forthcoming...

listening to: all my Biggie, on random.

I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea

2005-10-31T02:00:00.000-05:00

Man, this blog stuff is exciting, but I think I'm going to bed now. Just to enthused to stay awake a moment longer. I wonder what exciting developments will happen in the blogosphere while I'm in my little death? Every night has the tension of Christmas Eve when you have a blog!

listening to: Beatles - Savoy Truffle

2005-10-31T01:28:00.000-05:00

Those of you who aren't interning at CBS News might have missed the all-important fact that the president of CBS News got canned last week. I of course, do not have the luxury of being so innocent, as the blushing flower. Anyway, the new president of CBS News, is Sean McManus --who also heads up CBS sports. I am of course, all a-twitter about what my new boss will be like. Via the Sludge Report (R) here's some not very encouraging news.

And for those of you who have no patience for fucking links, here's the run-down:

The situation: McManus, the new president, is in his first editorial meeting with the executive producers, is laying out the coming weeks news. Its been a big week Harriet Miers went down in flames. So did Cheney's top aid. And of course, you have hurricane Wilma...

"...they said, 'Sean, what are your thoughts?"' recalled McManus, who will remain as president of CBS Sports. "I just said, 'You have to move the White Sox to the top of the show, which is more important than all the Harriet Miers stuff.'"

Yeah dude. Fuck all that politics bullshit. Buch a' poncy layabouts anyway. Ain't teevee great?

UPDATE:

Huh. My bad. Sludge got me again. But since his whole site is a joke anyway, I don't feel so bad.

Official De-Virginification Post

2005-10-31T00:48:00.000-05:00

Listening To: Talib Kweli - Get By

ye-haw

Here's a dispatch I've been working on, but never got around to sending:

GET READY FOR ANOTHER TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS WRITING ZONE (TAWZ)!!!???!!!

‘cause it’s coming. Like a freight train, babe.

Two life milestones and a sort of trivial thing.

1st order of business: Trivial thing.

Although I’m now 21 and my ID is valid, people think I’m trying to pass a fake. Because my ID is from Alaska. Nobody in the real world is from Alaska. The state only exists as an abstraction on fake ID’s.

Like today, I’m buying a 40 oz. and the dude behind the bodega counter takes my license, studies it for like three minutes, turns it over and looks at the other side. And then quizzes me on my address. PO Box 1971 muthafucka! And I’ve got major stubble, it’s not because I look really young, it’s this guy can’t conceive that an actual real Alaskan who isn’t Eskimo is buying beer from him. And then he sold me the beer like “I know its a fake, but I’ll let you slide this one time kid.”

3rd order of business: First Life Milestone.

I’m sorry guys/gals, I got a cell phone. It ain’t so bad. I didn’t realize how hard it was to get a cell phone. Like trying to adopt a damn baby. So many forms. Other than college, I think that was the first time anyone checked my credit rating. I failed. The salesman said, “Well, we are going to let you buy a cell phone.” Big fucking privilege. “But you have to give a deposit.” Oh yes massa, anything you say, massa, please am I worthy to have a cell phone? Anyway, I pretty much had to for work. Nobody takes you seriously if you don’t have a cell phone. I try to call up, say, the Department of Homeland Security

2nd order of business: Second Milestone

I have achieved a major life milestone.
Not turning 21, jackass. Bigger.

I woke up on a New York sidewalk.
No idea how I got there. Well. I knew the last thing I remembered was going out to a bar with the crew. I feel like I need to get a tattoo now or something. Yeah, I spent a night in jail once before, but only now am I a man. I got really lucky. Wasn’t missing my shoes or anything. Fuck, I even had all my money still in my pocket. Incredible.

END DISPATCH

That's it. Maybe I was right not to send it. Oh well, now its beyond my control, polluting the cyberzone. Will continue my profundities at a later date.

Hot Robotic Spluge-Fest

2005-10-30T23:15:00.000-05:00

Listening to: The Clash - Guns of Brixton

Let's all move to korea! This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Well, I guess we still have to wait 'till 2020. And move to Korea.

But anyway, the robots are on the way!

"The wheeled robots will offer such various applications as cleaning rooms, health-care programs, Internet connections, home monitoring or reading books while kids are sleeping.

The always-on mechanical servants, some of which have the ability to re-charge electricity automatically, can also order Chinese food and pizza by connecting to the local information network.

The robots will be operated under the mobile Internet connection. Subscribers of the fixed-line high-speed Internet services can sign up for the wireless Web offerings for 10,000 won a month after installing an access point, which will cost 10,000 won.

Chin said the price of network robots would further go down, as companies crank out robots en masse in the not-so-distant future, even below the $1,000 price tag.

``On the back of the network robots, we are jockeying to become one of global top three robot producers by 2010. In 2020, every Korean household will have a robot,’’ Chin said."

Tip o' the mouse to We-make-money-not-art[http://www.we-make-money-not-art.com/archives/007340.php]

Pulltab Lady and Gettin' Crazy

2005-10-30T22:55:00.000-05:00

listening to: Randy Newman - A wedding in Cherokee Country

Hmmm, its been half an hour since I got this blog and already the honeymoon glow is wearing off. I'm not an internet superstar yet or anything.

Will keep you appraised of the situation as it develops.

Oooh Ahhhh: that's pretty

2005-10-30T22:40:00.000-05:00

Oh, I feel like such a webslut! Got my flickr account to go with my blogger account to go with my del.icio.us account to go with my hotmail account. Collect all four colors!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shpilkis/

check it izout

Alex in the Ruins

2005-10-30T22:39:00.000-05:00

Alex in the Ruins, originally uploaded by shpilkis.

Ahoy. This be a pic of Alex, sitting in the abandoned barn on the way to Tivoli. He's just enjoying the mood.